


it would've been better, i should've known better, i don't want to believe.

by ampere



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 09:23:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampere/pseuds/ampere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where it's Perrie's birthday, Jesy isn't there and Perrie stops questioning when her life became a mess of four girls and sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it would've been better, i should've known better, i don't want to believe.

**Author's Note:**

> Well erm this is really late, but this is like a follow up to i'm tripping on my strut, so we can be in love. so maybe you should read that before reading this so it makes more sense. once again details are sketchy but eh, what you gonna do about it.
> 
> Title from Cobra Starship's Schwick (again).

Jesy leaves early, Perrie's bouncing in the fun house when she stops, looks around and notices she's gone. Leigh-Anne is laughing, throwing her hands up in the air, hair a wild mess.

“Where's Jesy?” Perrie stops, hair stuck on the gloss of her lips and cheeks flushed with exertion.

Leigh-Anne keeps bouncing, doesn't look at Perrie, gaze going over her shoulders.

She knows what's going on, Perrie knows Jade is behind her, having some sort of secret away from Perrie.

The funny thing is that Perrie thought secrets were over, maybe that makes her foolish, but here they are now, she's supposed to be having the best birthday ever and Jesy is nowhere to be seen. It feels like it's her and the feeling of intruding against Jade and Leigh-Anne. Because Jade and Leigh-Anne happened first, and Perrie weaseled her way in with flirtatious eyes and lingering hands. A feeling that they had to take her in because Perrie _wouldn't_ quit.

“Don't worry about it,” Jade says from the table still full of cake, “she wasn't feelin' well.”

Perrie blinks rapidly, feels stupid at the feeling of her throat going dry and choked.

“She didn't even say good bye.”

Leigh-Anne shrugs, stops her movement and digs her toes into the plastic of the bouncy house.

-

Perrie looks at the tweets the girls put up, looks at Jesy's tweet for a little too long than she liked to admit;

_Little Mix @LittleMixOffic_

_Happy birthday to my beautiful perrie winkle I love u soooooo much ur no longer a teen Wheheyyy uve joint the crew now ;) xjesyx_

She opens up her last text with Jesy, bites the her fingernail before typing out a message.

_hey were are you? u dnt say goodbye :(_

Her phone doesn't light up right away, it gives her notifications to mentions on twitter and texts from other people wishing her a happy birthday but none from Jesy.

It's cool in the car, the heat outside comes up in waves from the concrete and Jade and Leigh-Anne have their heads bow together in a secret conversation.

Perrie's gut feels weird, like her heart has sunk to the pit of it, burning in the raging of her stomach acid. It's a familiar sting that she thought she would never feel again once Jesy joined them. Being a third wheel is no fun, not when Perrie knows how it feels to actually belong.

She clicks her tongue, looks out the window, at the girls in scandalizing clothes trying to get a break from the weather.

Her phone goes off and Perrie's heart stutters nervously when Jesy's name shows up.

_didnt feel good_

It's short and bittersweet but Perrie's never been so good at being confrontational, has never known how to exist outside _bubbly_ and _sweet_ and _sunshine_. It's not her best attribute, taking people the way they are, not bothering to ask them to change for her benefit.

She supposes that's why she's the one that always ends up with the short end of the stick.

-

She goes to bed early, laughs at herself because she's in a quickly world dominating girl group and _this_ is how she celebrates her birthday. Feeling sorry for herself and unwanted.

It's ok though, Perrie doesn't need big flashy parties and cameras in her face to know she's had a good 20 years of life. The bad thing is that all the quiet, all the solitude gives her room to think. And it's mostly about Jesy, it's mostly about how she left and she's being stupid and childish. But Jesy's been something she's always wanted, even more so than Jade and Leigh-Anne. And now it turns out that Jesy decides to ignore her on her birthday.

She's blowing it out of proportion, Perrie knows this. But it's her birthday and she's _allowed._

The ceiling starts to blur after a while, gray shadows walking by, wispy and thin.

It's been a month, a month of her and Jesy and Jade and Leigh-Anne. A tangle of limbs and mouths and too much heat that makes Perrie dizzy and drowsy and feel like she's loved, like she's almost suffocating on it.

Perrie sighs, turns the AC higher and goes to sleep as best as she can.

-

There's hushed voices and hot stifling air hitting her skin. She whines, tries to open her eyes but the sleep is too heavy and all she wants to do is sleep away her birthday.

The faint spots of fuzzy lights press into her eyelids and the rush of air hits her ears. She sleeps through it all.

-

When she comes around, she feels cooler, the shocking feeling of cold air hitting her bare midriff. There's the twinkly sound of silverware and quiet conversation wrapped in the harsh lights of the kitchen.

She wraps her hands over herself, can feel that she's naked, bra less and clothe-less. She looks around, at the dimness of the room, the way the kitchen lights wash a bit over the carpet. The familiar wall color and furniture. She's gotten a lot of good memories in Jesy's flat.

She wobbles to her feet, tries to curl into herself, trying to make herself modest in her bareness.

“I told you she doesn't sleep with her underwear on,” Jade mumbles.

Perrie can hear a muffled laugh from Leigh-Anne, can just see the way she must be pressing her giggles to Jade's neck.

She stays quiet for a bit, looks down at the pale skin stretched over her belly, her hip bones. She looks at the way the carpet looks between her toes, listens to the the clutter and the soft voices. She's got no idea what's going on, she's got no idea why she's so _ok_ with it, with showing up at Jesy's house, naked and alone with the girls once again ignoring her.

“It's cold in here,” she says, walks into the kitchen, hair curling over her shoulders.

Jesy looks up at her, doesn't look sick or unwell.

“Hey,” Jesy says, looks at the mess of food on the table, the small cake, lopsided and crumbly with frosting, “surprise!”

Jade throws her hands up and Leigh-Anne looks ready to explode, lip quivering and eyes watering with unshed laughter.

Perrie looks at her, looks at the fondness Jade's eyes can barely keep away.

“Birthday suit!” Leigh-Anne burts out, “get it? It was my idea, 'cause it's your birthday and you're naked,” Leigh-Anne laughs, a bright peal of laughter that feels to loud at the time at night.

“It's just a bit over ten,” Jesy says, as if she knows what Perrie is thinking, Perrie wishes she could get Jesy out of her mind, “enough time to blow out the candles on this charming cake, I baked for you and you know...birthday sex or something.”

It feels familiar, eyes on her, Jesy nervous, it feels like a month ago, when there was some sort of tension that Perrie knew how to fix but didn't know how to go about.

She looks at the cake, the sloppy frosting writing _happy birthday perriewinkle!_ , “are we just never going to get presents anymore? Just sex?”

Jesy grins at her, flutters her lashes and trails her eyes over her, “afraid so.”

-

Jesy whispers an _im sorry it was a surprise, a stupid lopsided surprise_. Perrie goes all pink, down to her shoulders, can feel the cool sheets of Jesy's large bed, the way it dips with Jade and Leigh-Anne taking up space on either side of her.

Perrie doesn't have time to stay angry, because there's a mouth on her neck and fingernails scrapping at the curve of her hip, another hand pressing into the hard nub of her nipple.

“Hope you don't hate me, I didn't want to leave but it turns out I'm horrible at baking.”

Leigh-Anne hums, a sweet vibration against the long column of Perrie's neck.

The sad truth is that Perrie's never been good at _angry_ and _mad_ and _furious_. And she's never been able to deny Jesy anything. Sad truth is that Perrie forgave Jesy even before this all started.

The cake turns out to be good enough, Jade leaves for a couple of minutes, when Leigh-Anne kisses her until her mouth bruises and Jesy gets her fingers in her, crooks them, a slick slide that Perrie should be embarrassed about but it's her birthday she's allowed.

There's the thick feeling of grainy frosting wiped over her belly and then a hot tongue chasing the sweet away, a broad stripe that makes the muscles there quiver and just the smallest hint of teeth, pressing down and scrapping the sweetness from Perrie.

“Cake,” Jade murmurs, pulls back, frosting on her upper lip, “we shouldn't let it go to waste.”

Leigh-Anne nods, presses a kiss to Perrie's jaw and then there's overly sweet frosting in her mouth and Leigh-Anne licking against the roof of her mouth.

It gets to be a mess, Perrie can feel the stickiness of the sugar against her body, over her hips and on the insides of her thighs, in the valley of her chest (which Leigh-Anne takes great pleasure in licking away) and all over her mouth.

Jesy's fingers have gone still, and her mouth ducks down, shiny with spit and coated in sugar.

She squeaks when she feels Jesy's tongue lick between her fingers. Her legs kick out and lock and Jade looks at her with hooded eyes, fingers covered in cake.

Perrie comes with a little cry and with Jesy's mouth all over her.

She barely catches her breath when Jade hooks her thigh between her legs and stars to rock down.

Perrie whines, bites the inside of her cheek and tries to make it feel less like too much.

Jade ruts against her, hands sticky and going to Perrie's wrists, holding her down and Leigh-Anne runs the flat of her tongue over the dusty nub of her nipple.

Coming is the only thing to come from this, from the intensity of Jade grinding at her and the way Leigh-Anne pulls at her nipples with her teeth, can feel them harden under the harsh attention and the cold of the room.

Perrie opens her eyes long enough to see Jesy catch Leigh-Anne by her waist, pull her up and kiss her hard on the mouth, fingers pressing over her shoulder tattoo.

She's out of breath by the time Jade coaxes another orgasm out of her, her hair is limp and her skin is breaking into shudders.

She shakes her head when Leigh-Anne goes up to her, her lungs feel like they're burning and her legs ache.

But Leigh-Anne rises up towards her, climbs up her body and makes Perrie mouth at her, hands going to grip at her hips, a hard press as she flares her nostrils in an exhale and gives herself enough time to catch her breath, catch on to what's going on.

She hums against Leigh-Anne, lets her tongue work at her clit and folds before Leigh-Anne gives up trying to be nice, presses down hard and starts to grind on Perrie's face.

It gets her off, Perrie's never understood how having her face under a girl ever turns her on, but Leigh-Anne knows it does, knows how much she likes it, and likes to indulge her in it.

Her mind has gone fuzzy by the time Leigh-Anne comes all over her, her face feels wet and she smiles when she hears Leigh-Anne's little choked moan.

There's hands brushing at her sides and a mouth still sticky with lip gloss and frosting ghosting over hers.

The taste of their tongues is too sweet with a tang bitterness of Leigh-Anne and Perrie's own wetness mixed with the sugar of the cake.

Jesy sighs against her mouth, lets Jade pull her away for her own kiss and then Leigh-Anne presses a quick peck to her jaw, mouth bumping to her lips and smiling more than kissing.

“Best surprise ever, right?” Jesy laughs, dims the lights and wraps her arms over Perrie.

She means to say yes, yes because she's got Jesy, she's got Jade and Leigh-Anne and cake and she's not alone anymore. But her eyes are too tired and her body aches so her lashes flutter close and she barely manages a sleepy smile and a nod before she knocks out.


End file.
